Forgive and Forget

Dictionary explains Forgive and Forget as ‘To accept and not think about what someone has done to you’.
We all know Forgive is better than revenge. Here I am taking a summarised look that how these two things are good for us. What we should always do. What is must and what we can do to heal up the pain that we got when somebody hurt us?

First Let me explain that When do we get hurt?

  • We expected that somebody is very flexible and willing to change according to our mood and then disappointed us.
  • You have done a lot hard work or loved someone so much. You never thought that he or she can act or speak in way that might hurt you.

Our religion ‘ISLAM’ teach us to Forgive but Forget or Remember is in our own hand, our own dispositions. Forgiveness is a MUST to do and Forget is BETTER to do.
According to me there are two easy ways to forget. One : Think that you are on your right He is only ALLAH who knows this, ignore about others.

Secondly : In every bad experience, there’s always a good side of it. This time also you hurt many things are cleared upon you. You have realised many things that were hidden from you in past days. So just Thanks to ALLAH. Now you know everything without any doubt. And do not have good expectations at all from them.
You should not only forgive people for hurting you, you should also forget that they ever hurt you.

Forgiveness – affect on your health

Forgiveness, however, may bring enormous benefits to the person who gives that gift, according to recent research. If you can bring yourself to forgive and forget, you are likely to enjoy lower blood pressure, a stronger immune system, and a drop in the stress hormones circulating in your blood, studies suggest. Back pain, stomach problems, and headaches may disappear. And you’ll reduce the anger, bitterness, resentment, depression, and other negative emotions that accompany the failure to forgive.

Of course, forgiving is notoriously difficult. “Everyone says forgiveness is a lovely idea until they have something to forgive,” said C.S. Lewis.

And forgetting may not be a realistic or desirable goal.

“Despite the familiar cliche, ‘forgive and forget,’ most of us find forgetting nearly impossible,” says Charlotte vanOyen Witvliet, PhD, associate professor of psychology at Hope College. “Forgiveness does not involve a literal forgetting. Forgiveness involves remembering graciously. The forgiver remembers the true though painful parts, but without the embellishment of angry adjectives and adverbs that stir up contempt.”

Forgetting Nearly Impossible

Sometimes after getting hurt so much it becomes very difficult to love again to be the same again.
According to me Negative thoughts are better to have because we do never get hurt from others. Nobody can hurt us. No question will arise to forgive and forget 😀 (an urdu comment – نہ ہو گا بانس نہ بجے گی بانسری :D) . I know this all is wrong. We should not have negative thoughts. its not a good thing. I am not wrong. We should have positive thoughts and hopes from ALLAH our creator only. Because He Himself says that believe on HIM. Vengeance is HIM.

In my life I first got hurt during school life. After then university life within family then again … the third and the last time. Now I do not have much power to bear that all that’s why I stopped to believe on others to trust on family to have expectations from friends or have positive thoughts for anything. It does not mean that I hated them. I love them all.

Somewhere I read “Forgive your enemies, but never forget their names only.”

Book Recommanded : Forgive and Forget – Healing the Hurts We Don’t Deserve (By Lewis B. Smedes)


~ by UTS on May 8, 2009.

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