Why Help Desk Workers Sound so Helpless?

Letter to the help desk: Does the “help” in “help desk” mean something different in your universe?

Help desk: sir, your question is rather stupid.
Reply from user: If you don’t like stupid questions, why the hell are you working at a help desk?

Ring, ring, ring… Hello? Yes, help desk? Can you come down and smell my printer?

Helpdesk: “Click on the ‘My Computer’ icon on to the left of the screen.”
Customer: “Your left or my left?”

Customer: “Hi, good afternoon, this is Martha, I can’t print. Every time I try, it says, ‘Can’t find printer’. I’ve even lifted the printer and placed it in front of the monitor, but the computer still says it can’t find it.”

Customer: “I received the software update you sent, but I am still getting the same error message.”
Help Desk: “Did you install the update?”
Customer: “No. Oh, am I supposed to install it to get it to work?”

Help Desk: “Ok, in the bottom left hand side of the screen, can you see the ‘OK’ button displayed?”
Customer: “Wow. How can you see my screen from there?”

Customer: “My keyboard is not working anymore.”
Help desk: “Are you sure it’s plugged into the computer?”
Customer: “No. I can’t get behind the computer.”
Help desk: “Pick up your keyboard and walk 10 paces back.”
Customer: “Okay.”
Help desk: “Did the keyboard come with you?”
Customer: “Yes.”
Help desk: “That means the keyboard is not plugged in. Is there another keyboard?”
Customer: “Yes, there’s another one here. Ah, that one works!”

Help desk: “Your password is the small letter ‘a’ as in apple, a capital letter ‘V’ as in Victor, and the number ‘7’.”
Customer: “Is that ‘7’ in capital letters?”

Customer: “I have a huge problem. A friend has put a screen saver on my computer, but every time I move the mouse, it disappears!”

Help desk: “How may I help you?”
Customer: “I’m writing my first e-mail.”
Help desk: “Okay, and what seems to be the problem?”
Customer: “Well, I have the letter ‘a’ in the address, but how do I get the circle around it?”

Help desk: “What does the screen say now..”
Person: “It says, ‘Hit ENTER when ready’.”
Help desk: “Well?”
Person: “How do I know when it’s ready?”

Compaq is considering changing the command “Press Any Key” to “Press Return Key” because of the flood of calls asking where the “Any” key is.

User tells support tech that she knocked a key off her laptop. She replaced it, but now it won’t work. Tech asks, “is the key loose?” “Not now,” user replies. “It was loose, but I fixed it. I used super glue.”

Customer: “I have problems printing in red.”
Help desk: “Do you have a color printer?”
Customer: “Color what…?”

New employee complains to help desk that there’s something wrong with her password. No, it’s not CAPS lock. “The problem is that whenever I type the password, it just shows stars,” says user. Those asterisks are to protect you, tech explains, so if someone were standing behind you, they wouldn’t be able to read your password. “Yeah,” user says, “but they show up even when there is no one standing behind me.”

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~ by UTS on May 7, 2010.

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